Happy Valentines Day!

So I meant to post this yesterday for Valentines Day but I forgot. A few months ago, one of my sisters in Christ who is a part of the Pinky Promise Movement felt it on her heart to share her love story with myself and others. I've gotten her permission to share it publicly on my blog and I hope you are as blessed by this as I was. 

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In 2011 I was engaged to be married. I was so engaged that all I really had left was to pick up my already purchased wedding dress, make sure my wedding party of 26 was prepared to walk and ensure that my guests, who just received save-the-dates, would shortly receive the actual wedding invitation. The wedding was underway but the marriage didn't stand a chance.  I found myself in a forever relationship with a longtime friend that was temporary.

I would be lying if I said something went wrong somewhere in the relationship and it was big surprise to me, but there were signs from the beginning that I ignored. I believed that our existing friendship, his feelings for me and our semi-similar future aspirations made for a perfect recipe for a marriage. I could not have been more wrong. I found myself having to make the HARDEST decision of my life, and called off my wedding just four months shy of “the day”.

Following this decision I carried a lot of shame, felt completely alone, isolated and very unsure of my ability to love and be loved again. I went through a period of fasting and prayer, to dating some people (it just didn't feel right) and then back to fasting again.  I knew I had to let God take control of this and every other area in my life but I was just trying to be “helpful” and share the burden of finding my one day husband with God. 

I had even contemplated online dating thinking that it could be one way to be found. I decided that by 11:59 pm on December 31^st 2013, if God had NOT told me to NOT go online, I would create an online dating profile. So I didn't get a call, text, FaceTime or anything from God saying no and decided that was my green light to create a profile. So long story short, the online profile was deactivated 1 hour after it was created. I’ll never get that hour of my life back. I then throw up my hands and said “God, it’s seriously in your hands now, I surrender ALL to you”.

That’s honestly what I did. I came back home after a great break with family with a plan to put God first and totally get comfortable spending time with God and God alone. I fasted, read my word and I was happy to be in constant communication with my Maker.

Out of nowhere on a random Thursday in late January, this young man I once knew from my old job in a local mall reached out to me on Facebook just to say "hi". After a few messages, we made plans to meet up for brunch. I was not thinking anything of it because he was younger than me and I had created a crazy rule stating I would not date younger men (Note: the devil can be in the details/barriers we put up). He said food and I said YES (I like food; no judgment). I was not aware at that point that God had His hands all over this brunch and hasn't once let go of us since. Ten months later, I am the happiest girlfriend on earth and excited to be with my "Snug".

I share this story because, although I have received divine confirmation about my relationship numerous times, I recently became overcome with joy knowing God loved me so much, He sent me my boyfriend in such a way that I KNOW it was Him and not me or my Snug. This revelation also made me realize the error of my dating ways of the past.

After watching a video on YouTube by Touré Roberts entitled “5 Keys to Identifying Your Soulmate”, it made me grin from ear to ear. Each point that was discussed spoke directly to my current relationship. I want to share this with you because what the video also made me realize is that often times people hear a word from a friend, in church, a YouTube video or the Bible that convicts them about their current situation and they do nothing about it. Many times people do not allow themselves to succumb to the come-to-Jesus moments that has been delivered to them through these outlets by the Most High.

I encourage you to watch the video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJutjZ5mm9E  and act wisely on the feelings God is putting on your heart. I once almost made a mistake that would have derailed me from receiving my true blessing. We need to stop worrying about what people think or how our current partner may feel. If God’s hand is in your relationship, you will know and it will have nothing to do with what YOU did or haven’t done but what GOD has done and what He knows is right. So watch the video and take a pulse on what’s going on in your relationship. Don’t force confirmation because the truth will come to the surface at some point. If there is confirmation, rejoice and thank the Lord for your blessings. If you are convicted to make a change, rejoice that the Lord has provided you wisdom, discernment and direction. If you are currently single and not dating/courting, remember the past (don't live there) and change your present behavior to make yourself available for what God has to offer.

Let’s surrender everything to God and watch Hm do the miraculous!

Need encouragement? Read and mediate on the following scriptures:

Surrender your life to Christ: Luke 9:23

God has your back: Jeremiah 29:11

Life changing scripture: 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Can't beat God giving: Ephesians 3:20-21 

For those fighting the call to RUN: Philippians 3:13-14

Love you,

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I hope you had an amazing day yesterday whether it was as a single person or a married person. Remember true happiness and contentment is found only in Christ, no human can give you what you are looking for, no human can fill that void. If you find yourself sulking, sad, "hating" or even being bitter on Valentines Day, you should probably put yourself in a timeout and go get your heart mended by God. That's an indicator that you are not completely healed from...whatever, thus you are not made whole. You don't want to meet your "Adam" or enter a relationship being any less than a whole person. You'll bring those issue right into a relationship with you. 

I know I missed doing a January post, I was bring lazy. I hope y'all had a great couple of months. I will return I couple of weeks with a new blog post!

xo

Tasha

XO 2014

I always find it strange, how quickly I perceive time as passing by. I remember being a child and feeling like the days and nights were so long. It took forever for school to end, forever for church to end, summer was light years away, it was going to take forever for my next birthday to come back around. Now, as an adult (since I entered college), I feel myself grasping as if I'm in a whirlwind as I blink and another year has gone by.

I can't believe we're already at the end of 2014. When I started blogging about 3 years ago, I took the opportunity to write a blog as a mini reflection of my year and maybe some expectations for the new year. This time around will be the same, but a little different also.

With my fellow Pinky Promise Admin supporting Pinky Promise sisters who were graduating from college

Last year this time I was in my home country (Jamaica) writing a very similar blog, where I reviewed my goals for the previous year, so let's see what was on the menu for 2014:

1. Declutter:
That was a big one for me. When I wrote that I was in a state where I felt like I was so done with everything in life. I was so busy doing so many things, running around like a chicken with it's head cut off (sorry for the visual, lol). I barely had time for myself and even God. Now don't get me wrong, I still did the necessary activities that I "needed" to do i.e quick prayer, Bible reading/devotionals. However life was always such a rush and it was always "on to the next activity" that I really never had time to dwell in His presence, allow Him to talk and minister to me after I spoke to Him. No wonder I was feeling overwhelmed and angry. At that point I was operating out of the flesh and not being replenished by my spirit.
I'm happy to report that I did some major decluttering and what a difference it made in my life. I would also like to note that I consulted God on what I should let go before I let it go. I had all these ambitions about the things that I was doing but the funny thing is that I had to go back to my home where life was so "simple" to realize that the acquisition of these "things" I had on my image board will probably not make me feel more content or happy but it truly is Christ... a relationship with Him and being in His will. I'm so happy I said "goodbye" to those things.

2. Read the entire Bible...again.
At this point, I had already read the Bible in it's entirety 5 times. On paper it sounds impressive. I started by 6th round of reading the Bible and I was no longer impressed with the thought of doing this for the 6th time. I had read the Bible so many times but never got the chance to go deep into scripture and really study what it was saying and what it meant for my life or the world today. So I didn't finish that plan, I instead, decided to start another Bible plan that enables me to study the scripture more. It's been, life changing. And God has spoken so much through His Word thus far.

3. Finish Bible X
Yikes...yeah I'm still working on it. I'm more than halfway through though!

4. Get better with finances
This is a win and a fail. For most of the year I didn't stick to my budget but with the acquisition of my new job, the payment schedule forces me to stick to a budget more strictly than before so I've started over and it's going well so far (for the past 2 months).

5. Work out and eat healthy
This is just a constant struggle. The things that I struggle with most is my mind. I hate working out (whether at home or in the gym, though I hate the gym more), so when it's time for me to do what I need to do, I'm dreading it and I'm so down about it. My mood finally gets better when I have completed my workout. With food, I'l do good for a month or 2 but then get so tired of trying to think of healthy food or options and just pig out for 6 months. I need to change the way I think. I need to take control of my emotions when it's time to got to the gym and be happy about it. I don't have to go to the gym, I get to go to the gym and take care of God's temple (my body). I also may invest in some free weights and workout from home more often since I prefer that to the gym (men in the weight room staring me make me nervous). In terms of food, I am learning that I need to give my self little rewards here and there. If I starve myself from everything bad immediately, after a long while once I treat myself, I'm going to go overboard and want to eat everything bad because I hadn't had anything in so long. So more (small portioned) treats as I transition into a healthier lifestyle.

Headed to a friend's wedding with my sister in Christ and accountability partner

There are so many great things that have happened to me this year and also some not so great things. I can honestly say that I continue to learn a lot about myself, about God and about who He wants me to be.  This year (unlike every year) I'm not going to put a list of things that I want to do. I just want to be led by God and want to be open to whatever He has for me. I'm in a time of transition that I never expected to happen and I'm learning to deal with that. I'm learning to deal with the trauma I am experiencing (I'll explain in a later blog), the hurt I am feeling, who my friends and supporters are and I am learning to lean on God more to take me through situations. There are also a few decisions that I may have to make in 2015 that will push me to another level of obedience and faith.

I would like to take the time to thank you, all my readers for following me in 2014. I do pray that what I write is a blessing to you  and convicts or encourages you in some way shape or form. I do pray that you continue to keep up with me as I journey with Christ. I'm excited to see what He's going to do and where He is going to take me this time around.

Wishing you a blessed 2015!

xo

Tasha

Stop Asking Me Why I'm Single...

If you are a single person, you will immediately feel where I am coming from. If you are a single Christian, you may feel me a little bit more. I am a 27 year old Christian woman and, yes, I am single.

My last "official" relationship ended when I was 18 years old. After that, a period of 5 years went by where I entered into what can be best defined as "situations". If you're familiar with the college scene, you know all too well what I am talking about... a relationship without the title of a relationship so people can sleep around as they choose. I never wanted to be be a part of this, I wanted to be true to who I was and I thought I was worth more than that. Actually, I was. But I allowed the world to deceive me into believing that maybe I was not. If I was (worth it), I would have gotten it (a relationship)...right?

I got saved and delivered physically, emotionally and mentally from that life 4 years ago. Yet in my walk, I am still single and have never been approached by a single man of God. I have friends who are single and friends who are getting engaged, married and having babies. This is the age to start settling down according to the world. So many time people come up to me and ask me " Why are you single? You're so pretty. You should be married by now". Then they sit there patiently waiting as if I am supposed to come up with a logical answer to this question. Because something must be wrong. Then, if you don't have an answer or none at all, they then start asking if you're doing the things you should be doing to find a mate. Are you going out? "You hang out with too many girls, men find that intimidating". Are you dressing to be found? Wear this, wear that. More heels. Wear make-up more often. You really should wear more jewelry. Along with many other unwarranted advice concerning what I'm doing wrong.

What if you were wrong? What if I am, in actuality, not doing anything wrong but in fact...right? What if I am actually in the will of God? What if He simply has me hidden because His best for me is not yet ready for me? When did being single become a cusre? When did single all of a sudden mean that I am less valuable than an individual who was married?

There are too many single who are pining away and lonely because they are not content with themselves and who they are. I know that some of you mean well, but stop it. Your words and questioning doesn't help the situation. You cause us to wonder IF there was something wrong with us because you wouldn't ask if you didn't think that something was wrong. You mess with the contentment we could have or are struggling to have.

Stop asking me why I'm single.
I am not sitting on a corner crying myself to sleep. I am perfectly fine.

Stop asking me why I'm single.
I am busy chasing God and being busy doing the work that He has called me to do. I am busy ministering through blogs and social media, serving in church and running a women's group. I am busy doing and being exactly where God wants me to be.

Stop asking my why I'm single.
In most cases, it's none of my business, and it's none of yours either.

Stop asking me why I'm single. Single is not a curse and I'm no less valuable because of it. It's not a disease. No need to look down on me and feel sorry for me. I surely am not.


Thank you for your concern but no need to ask. I will have what God desires for me in due time. Until then, I will live my life to the fullest. If you're that concerned, pray for me. And if I need advice or suggestions...I'll ask you.


Sincerely
Tasha

Keep Calm and Rest Honey

So...sometimes I have something that I want to share, but it's short and sweet. I don't want to call it a full out blog because, really, it's a passing thought. So...I'll call this and all future passing thoughts like this, a "blogget". I am fully aware that I may have just made up a word.


Have you  ever had a pimple? Of course you have. I actually don't know if there is a human being who has never had a pimple. Gosh those suckers are annoying. I'm getting to a stage in my life where I'm starting to get more breakouts. The fact that this did not happen to me during what I consider the normal time (puberty) is even more frustrating. As annoyed as I can get, I usually don't mind that them THAT much if nothing special is happening (i.e I'm traveling or going to a special event) so I let them rock. However, if they pop up during a special time I don't have the time for it to "live out it's entire life cycle" before it goes away. I need it to go away now. No one has time for this. So I'm tempted to pick at it so it will go away quickly. I promise I'm going somewhere with this.

So I've done it, it was easy and now it's gone. I don't have to deal with it anymore. Whew, what a relief! But what happens when I do that? A scar is formed on my face and now won't go away because I didn't rest and let it be. Now I have a permanent scar to remind me of my impatientness.

How many times do with do this with God in our life? We get impatient with the seasons that we are in or the trials that we go through. We want out now. We want our blessing now and we can't wait because we're impatient. Fear grips us that we will never exit this storm, that we will remain single forever. And so what do we do? We take things into our own hands and rush the process. Sometimes we do get what we want initially. We settle and are no longer single. We've had a baby. We're no longer in that storm. But little do we know that what seems as a relief initially will eventually turn into a permanent scar. If we choose not to wait on the Lord we run the risk of making a bigger mess of things and leaving a permanent scar in our lives. A scar that we now have to live with an look at for the rest of our lives.

What are you tempted to rush out of right now? In what area of your life are you getting impatient? Stop rushing the process. Rest in Him

Psalm 24:17 Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD.

xo 

Tasha

Bloom

I like flowers. I think they're pretty. My goal was to plant a flower garden in my yard (I'm not quite there yet) that will be filled with beautiful bloomed flowers. Last fall I was toiling away in the dirt planting bulbs all over and making sure they had enough room beside each other to grow without interrupting each other. This took me well over an hour and by the time I sat down and looked at my hard work, the Lord (of course) dropped something in the midst of my heart that I would like to share.

Hanging with my momma. Jamaica-December 2013

1. Fall:I worked so hard for so long, but when I was done everything was still...empty. There was no evidence of my work apart from the pulled up dirt. God sometimes gives us a Word of what He's going to do in our lives. When we hear, we get SO excited and want to tell the world! However a few days go by, weeks, months years and we see nothing of what God said He was going to do. All we notice is the pulled up dirt around us. That pulled up dirt could be family or friends who have turned their backs on us or even drama, tests or trials in our lives. I want to tell you that God's promises never come back null and void. God will do what He told you that He will do. You just went through all that pulled up dirt because He needed to develop you. You needed to get some roots in Christ, a firm foundation in Him. He needed to rid you of toxic people in your life who were not qualified to be with you on that next level (for whatever reason). He has planted you, just wait for it....

2. Winter: Brrrr it's so cold. The air is brisk. In the morning and wee hours of the night it seems like frost is all over you. Snow storms come and you are buried. Single people can I talk to yall for a minute? I, like you, am single. I don't believe that God has called me to a life of singleness (because He has not specifically told me that), so I assume that eventually I would be married. I, however, am going through a season where I am not being noticed by any single Christian men. Like none, nada, zilch. To be honest, this has been the case for the entire time I have been a born again Christian (4 years). I'm excited about God, I love Him, I love spending my singleness working for Him. Can I be honest though, and say sometimes this fact makes me a little sad? I feel like I am buried under this snow. Nothing is happening and no one can see me. When am I going to come out of the snow?

Ecclesiastes 3:1-11

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

    a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,   

 a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,   

    a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance, 

     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

    a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,  

  a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,

   a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

What do workers gain from their toil?  I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 

 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end

3. Spring/Summer: Seemingly out of no where, the flowers that I had planted 7 months prior started to bloom. So many tall and beautiful colors. They were breathtaking and every time I looked at them, I couldn't help but stop and smile. I was so proud. I can imagine God doing the same when we get to the place where He promised us we will be. So many times we think that God has forgotten about us when in fact He hasn't. He has been spending all this time (when it seemed like nothing was happening) working in and through you. Why? Because the way we are now is not a good fit for the promise that He has for us, so He needs to develop us until we are ready. And when we are, we will bloom and it will be so beautiful. At that time we will understand what God has been doing behind the scenes. We will begin to see how He cut certain people and things out of our lives, how He strategically placed us in certain places/situations and He placed certain opportunities in our hand. We will start to put the the pieces together and marvel at His works.

I want to encourage you to not be weary but to keep on pressing. It may not seem like anything is happening for a long time, but trust me...something is happening behind the scenes.

Like a flower bloom in me

Let Your beauty shine through me

For all the world to see

Like a lily by the stream
Let Your life break out in me
For all the world to see

Bloom, bloom in me Jesus

Take root, root in me

And I'll be new Jesus

Jesus IS the seed planted on the earth
because He died I live

There's new life, new life in me

There's new hope, new hope in me

Life is blooming out in me Jesus

Bloom by Phil Thompson and Zenzo Matoga

My cousin and I at Little Ochie: Jamaica-2013

P.S: sometimes we're not blooming because God us to do things that are necessary for Him to bring us to another level, we disobey and are blocking our own blessings. Read more about how I blocked my own blessings in a blog I wrote a while ago called "Are You Blocking Your Blessing?". Please do an #ObedienceSelfCheck and proceed accordingly.
commands

xo
Tasha

At a birthday dinner for a friend

Invitation Declined

I went to a faith based singles retreat this past weekend. It was truly an amzing experience. I was in the woods and got to spend some real quiet time with God literally retreating with Him. I had felt so flustered and confused with life because I had allowed overcrowding and noise to tune God's voice out. I wasn't consistent with praying, reading my Word or spending time with God as I usually did. I was more emotionally led, snappy and frustrated with just...everything. It was a mess.

These 4 days away with God in the midst of endless woods was just what I needed to clear my head and get back on track with my relationship with Him. I came home feeling so enlightened, happy and at peace with the world. As soon as I stepped back in Boston there was something there waiting for me to get me upset. See a family member (who shall be remained unidentified) called me and was fussing about having to pick me up from the airport. Mind you, they have no reason to be fussing. They could have called me and had a regular conversation asking me whatever question they needed to ask me and that would be the end of it. This particular relative though, likes to fuss just for the sake of fussing and it...drives...me....up...the...wall.

As they were fussing on the phone, I could feel my calm, peaceful and retreated demeanor starting to stir and leave my body. I could feel my eye squinting, my blood boiling and my temper start to flare up as I was just about to shout at them for fussing at me for no reason. I then heard a word placed in my spirit that I had read time and time again on social media by Heather Lindsey and Kim Pothier "You don't have to accept every invitation to an argument. Guard your heart". I decided in that moment that I was not going to let the devil use this situation to steal my joy. I was going to pass this test. So instead of popping off at the mouth (which I think was deserved), I instead opted to simply answer the questions in a calm and soft tone and get off the phone once the conversation was over. Was it hard? Heck yeah! I was on the phone squeezing my eyes and hands so much to control myself. Was it worth it? Totally. But:

Proverbs 15:1  A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger

 Use every opportunity to approach a situation the way Jesus would. Pass the test

xo 

Tasha

#SeedCheck

Have you ever seen a cantaloupe seed? Like a singular seed? It's so very SMALL. It's hard to believe or even fathom that it will grow into this huge fruit, but indeed...it does. While staring at the seed one day the Lord dropped something in my heart about seeds.

We take the size of a seed for granted, especially when it comes to sin. We have been called to live a life that is holy, to represent Christ and His Holiness. That's hard, trust me. We are battling with our flesh everyday. As we battle, sometimes we allow small seeds to pass through because we don't think it's a big deal.

Scenario:
You are a young Christian woman who is living a life of celibacy. You've made it quite some time now and are extremely proud of yourself. All of a sudden you end up in the bed, staring at the ceiling after 5 minutes of pleasure with a guy beside you. You just had sex and wonder, how did this happen? How did I let XXX months/years of celibacy go down the drain so quickly?

Standing in the Atlantic Ocean in Jamaica- December 2013

Truth is, you didn't "suddenly" end up in that bed with that man/woman. Small compromises started to happen that you dismissed as not significant so you'll allow it. It's not a big deal. You're talking to this person (whether text or phone call), the conversation is good until you start to entertain them calling you or allowing the conversation to happen at inappropriate hours of the night/early morning. (You can define what inappropriate is. For me inappropriate is anytime after 10 pm). Compromise 1. The more you talk, the more you become comfortable and at times the conversation will slip into inappropriate sexual conversation. No big deal, it's just talk, I'm not doing anything. Compromise 2. You decide to hang out by going to the movies where it's dark and yall are alone with no accountability. Compromise 3. He takes you home afterwards and you invite him into your house (it's already late) to talk. Compromise 4, what are they doing there? You guys progress to your room (for whatever ever the reason may be). Compromise 5, what are you doing?! A gentle kiss on the lips. Compromise 6. And then you fall...and it seems so sudden.

Now this scenario might not happen to everyone exactly as I have presented it but this is just to show what I'm talking about. We compromise ourselves every single time we allow one of those small seemingly insignificant seeds to pass through. But seeds grow and they turn into something. I've been told that I'm being extra by telling a man not to call me after 10pm or while in conversation with a man and 10 approaches I start to wrap that conversation up. I'll be extra because I don't have the time to entertain the risk of falling hard. I encourage you to be extra. Guard your gates. The devil doesn't play fair and will use any opportunity to make you fall.

Make sure you do a #seedcheck every day. What have I allowed to be planted around me (whether spiritually, physically, verbally, emotionally). If there is anything that is not of Christ, uproot it immediately. Aint nobody got time for that.

xo
Tasha

My first day back home. Headed to the market. Jamaica-December 2013