Have you ever been put in a situation that bothered you? I mean REALLY bothered you? See it doesn't even end up being that big of a deal at first if you have to deal with the annoyance for the day. But what would you do if that annoying thing was a part of every minute of every hour of every day constantly taunting you, never ending? Well that...was my life for 10 days straight.
I would love to tell you that I did all of the right things fasted, prayed etc but I didn't, I actually failed this test miserably. I allowed the devil to get to me and my emotions to the point where I felt that I was no longer in control. See my explosion of anger started with a man that I have found to be an annoying part of my life for-EVER (literally since my birth). But since I'm not really taken that seriously all the time, my annoyance was ignored for my entire life. It was okay though...I guess, it's not like I had to deal with my annoyance on a regular basis. I ended up in a situation for several days straight where I felt that I was intruded upon, boundaries were severely crossed which made me feel highly disrespected and was constantly being harassed (to name a few) to the point where this dormant volcano exploded. When I exploded, it wasn't pretty.
With the roller coaster of emotions that I was feeling, there were many tears and many anger outbursts. A dark cloud of negativity and anger surrounded and engulfed me and for as long as I would be taunted it seemed I could not get out of it. This dark and ugly girl emerged from inside of me that I did not even recognize. To top it off this all happened in, on and around my birthday week...of all times to taunt me.
I thought it was more important to share what I am about to share than to write a blog about the joys about turning 27. That wouldn't be real. I'm still emerging from this dark cloud and right now I don't particularly feel joy.
Storms will always come your way. The devil is...clever, but not necessarily creative. He's very predictable. He knows what you hold dear to you heart, what you care about, your buttons, triggers, weaknesses etc and knows just when and how to pull to throw you off. Why? Because he doesn't want you to walk in your purpose. He wants to to fall and get off track. He wants to guilt you into condemning yourself enough to keep you down. When you are down you clearly aren't up and doing the work or assignment that God has called you to do. He wants you to give up on God.
Even though the devil knows all of this, the same attacks come in the same ways using the same triggers over and over and over and over again. He has no creativity...NONE. So how do you fight back?
1. Know what your triggers are. Some of our triggers are readily identifiable but there are some that we may not even know that we struggle with. Speak to your close friends and ask them what they think your triggers are. Most importantly, pray to God and ask Him to reveal them to you you. Ask and you will receive. He'll tell you.
2. Know that you know what your triggers are, you prepare. Pray to God to heal you or deliver you from the weakness or triggers that you are prone to. Note that in asking God to deliver you, He will place you in situations where you get tested and you have to pass those tests, and not allow yourself to be triggered. That's how you learn. Stay prayed up and Bibled up. When you're in a situation that is seriously testing you, don't stop praying and reading your Word. You don't have to go through this alone, God wants to help you and talk to you, don't shut Him out. Keep facing Him and walk up straight because the attack can only last for so long
3. Share. Like I said, your attack can only last for so long. When you get through (or even before you get through) tell somebody about what your storm is/was and how God brought you through and you didn't unplug from Him (the Source). Your testimony can save the life of someone who is being attacked and think that they won't make it through. Don't keep it yourself!
Now as I said earlier, I failed this test...initially. The negativity came around and I was so infuriated that I didn't think that I could have even spoken to God during that time. I went 10 whole days without prayer and reading my Bible because I was too mad. But that was exactly the time that God wanted to talk to me the most. Eventually there was a turn where I realized that I was under attack, I had given into my flesh and wasn't acting like a Christ representer. Even though I had fallen for the devil's bait I sure wasn't going to let the devil win this war. As a result I feel like this meme accurately explained my sentiments when I came to my senses:
So right now, I'm gonna sip my tea and stop stressing about the situation. I have repented for being a brat and thinking that I could do this on my own and have given it to God. I will not stress over the situation because my God is bigger, I will go ahead and live my life, praise and worship like it's over because it is over. I'm proclaiming it. I don't know how God plans on moving this cloud but...it's none of my business.
Stayed tuned for my "He Turned It" praise report.
#EndScene
Hanging with friend in NY last year
xo,
Tasha
