XO 2014

I always find it strange, how quickly I perceive time as passing by. I remember being a child and feeling like the days and nights were so long. It took forever for school to end, forever for church to end, summer was light years away, it was going to take forever for my next birthday to come back around. Now, as an adult (since I entered college), I feel myself grasping as if I'm in a whirlwind as I blink and another year has gone by.

I can't believe we're already at the end of 2014. When I started blogging about 3 years ago, I took the opportunity to write a blog as a mini reflection of my year and maybe some expectations for the new year. This time around will be the same, but a little different also.

With my fellow Pinky Promise Admin supporting Pinky Promise sisters who were graduating from college

Last year this time I was in my home country (Jamaica) writing a very similar blog, where I reviewed my goals for the previous year, so let's see what was on the menu for 2014:

1. Declutter:
That was a big one for me. When I wrote that I was in a state where I felt like I was so done with everything in life. I was so busy doing so many things, running around like a chicken with it's head cut off (sorry for the visual, lol). I barely had time for myself and even God. Now don't get me wrong, I still did the necessary activities that I "needed" to do i.e quick prayer, Bible reading/devotionals. However life was always such a rush and it was always "on to the next activity" that I really never had time to dwell in His presence, allow Him to talk and minister to me after I spoke to Him. No wonder I was feeling overwhelmed and angry. At that point I was operating out of the flesh and not being replenished by my spirit.
I'm happy to report that I did some major decluttering and what a difference it made in my life. I would also like to note that I consulted God on what I should let go before I let it go. I had all these ambitions about the things that I was doing but the funny thing is that I had to go back to my home where life was so "simple" to realize that the acquisition of these "things" I had on my image board will probably not make me feel more content or happy but it truly is Christ... a relationship with Him and being in His will. I'm so happy I said "goodbye" to those things.

2. Read the entire Bible...again.
At this point, I had already read the Bible in it's entirety 5 times. On paper it sounds impressive. I started by 6th round of reading the Bible and I was no longer impressed with the thought of doing this for the 6th time. I had read the Bible so many times but never got the chance to go deep into scripture and really study what it was saying and what it meant for my life or the world today. So I didn't finish that plan, I instead, decided to start another Bible plan that enables me to study the scripture more. It's been, life changing. And God has spoken so much through His Word thus far.

3. Finish Bible X
Yikes...yeah I'm still working on it. I'm more than halfway through though!

4. Get better with finances
This is a win and a fail. For most of the year I didn't stick to my budget but with the acquisition of my new job, the payment schedule forces me to stick to a budget more strictly than before so I've started over and it's going well so far (for the past 2 months).

5. Work out and eat healthy
This is just a constant struggle. The things that I struggle with most is my mind. I hate working out (whether at home or in the gym, though I hate the gym more), so when it's time for me to do what I need to do, I'm dreading it and I'm so down about it. My mood finally gets better when I have completed my workout. With food, I'l do good for a month or 2 but then get so tired of trying to think of healthy food or options and just pig out for 6 months. I need to change the way I think. I need to take control of my emotions when it's time to got to the gym and be happy about it. I don't have to go to the gym, I get to go to the gym and take care of God's temple (my body). I also may invest in some free weights and workout from home more often since I prefer that to the gym (men in the weight room staring me make me nervous). In terms of food, I am learning that I need to give my self little rewards here and there. If I starve myself from everything bad immediately, after a long while once I treat myself, I'm going to go overboard and want to eat everything bad because I hadn't had anything in so long. So more (small portioned) treats as I transition into a healthier lifestyle.

Headed to a friend's wedding with my sister in Christ and accountability partner

There are so many great things that have happened to me this year and also some not so great things. I can honestly say that I continue to learn a lot about myself, about God and about who He wants me to be.  This year (unlike every year) I'm not going to put a list of things that I want to do. I just want to be led by God and want to be open to whatever He has for me. I'm in a time of transition that I never expected to happen and I'm learning to deal with that. I'm learning to deal with the trauma I am experiencing (I'll explain in a later blog), the hurt I am feeling, who my friends and supporters are and I am learning to lean on God more to take me through situations. There are also a few decisions that I may have to make in 2015 that will push me to another level of obedience and faith.

I would like to take the time to thank you, all my readers for following me in 2014. I do pray that what I write is a blessing to you  and convicts or encourages you in some way shape or form. I do pray that you continue to keep up with me as I journey with Christ. I'm excited to see what He's going to do and where He is going to take me this time around.

Wishing you a blessed 2015!

xo

Tasha

Stop Asking Me Why I'm Single...

If you are a single person, you will immediately feel where I am coming from. If you are a single Christian, you may feel me a little bit more. I am a 27 year old Christian woman and, yes, I am single.

My last "official" relationship ended when I was 18 years old. After that, a period of 5 years went by where I entered into what can be best defined as "situations". If you're familiar with the college scene, you know all too well what I am talking about... a relationship without the title of a relationship so people can sleep around as they choose. I never wanted to be be a part of this, I wanted to be true to who I was and I thought I was worth more than that. Actually, I was. But I allowed the world to deceive me into believing that maybe I was not. If I was (worth it), I would have gotten it (a relationship)...right?

I got saved and delivered physically, emotionally and mentally from that life 4 years ago. Yet in my walk, I am still single and have never been approached by a single man of God. I have friends who are single and friends who are getting engaged, married and having babies. This is the age to start settling down according to the world. So many time people come up to me and ask me " Why are you single? You're so pretty. You should be married by now". Then they sit there patiently waiting as if I am supposed to come up with a logical answer to this question. Because something must be wrong. Then, if you don't have an answer or none at all, they then start asking if you're doing the things you should be doing to find a mate. Are you going out? "You hang out with too many girls, men find that intimidating". Are you dressing to be found? Wear this, wear that. More heels. Wear make-up more often. You really should wear more jewelry. Along with many other unwarranted advice concerning what I'm doing wrong.

What if you were wrong? What if I am, in actuality, not doing anything wrong but in fact...right? What if I am actually in the will of God? What if He simply has me hidden because His best for me is not yet ready for me? When did being single become a cusre? When did single all of a sudden mean that I am less valuable than an individual who was married?

There are too many single who are pining away and lonely because they are not content with themselves and who they are. I know that some of you mean well, but stop it. Your words and questioning doesn't help the situation. You cause us to wonder IF there was something wrong with us because you wouldn't ask if you didn't think that something was wrong. You mess with the contentment we could have or are struggling to have.

Stop asking me why I'm single.
I am not sitting on a corner crying myself to sleep. I am perfectly fine.

Stop asking me why I'm single.
I am busy chasing God and being busy doing the work that He has called me to do. I am busy ministering through blogs and social media, serving in church and running a women's group. I am busy doing and being exactly where God wants me to be.

Stop asking my why I'm single.
In most cases, it's none of my business, and it's none of yours either.

Stop asking me why I'm single. Single is not a curse and I'm no less valuable because of it. It's not a disease. No need to look down on me and feel sorry for me. I surely am not.


Thank you for your concern but no need to ask. I will have what God desires for me in due time. Until then, I will live my life to the fullest. If you're that concerned, pray for me. And if I need advice or suggestions...I'll ask you.


Sincerely
Tasha