Farewell 27. Welcome 28

This year seemed to be a repeat from last year as I cried multiple times on my birthday. However, this year was different. Last year I was in tears because of confrontation, I was being intruded upon and being mistreated (yes on my special day...the audacity, lol) where as this year my tears were from immense joy as my heart was so moved and full of all the love that I received.

Some members of the dinner crew

27 was a year that challenged me in a way that I had never been challenged before. I entered that year hopeful but restless, sensing that something in my life was about to change and move me. The Lord had been placing it on my heart for a few months at that time but I couldn't figure out why. When I found out why, it rocked my world. Threatened my sense of self, safety and security. Challenged what I knew about God and if I was going to trust Him during that season. It was at that time time, as God moved me, that I began to realize the significance of community. It was at time time that I truly began to see and understand that there are people everywhere that are incredibly broken and hurt. It was at that time that as I entered a safe place where I could begin my healing process, that I learned the importance of loving through it all and forgiving trespasses against me.

This was also the year that I started my new job. Since graduating from college I had been in an entry level position where I had finally learned how to perfect what I did and I loved being the expert and knowing everything to do. The Lord placed it on my heart that it was time to leave and be promoted to a different position. So I did, I applied for new jobs and got the position. This new position was nothing like what I did before and it was clear from the very first day that there was a very steep learning curve that I would have to endure. I was also told that I really wouldn't know how to do my entire job for at least 1 year. That's a lot of learning. This challenged me. I spent most of every day questioning my intelligence and whether I could actually do the job. Had I made a mistake in taking this position? Had they made a mistake in hiring me? This forced me to a place where I literally had to give it it God every single day. I had no choice. I literally did not know what to do. It was in that place where God had to give me wisdom to get through the day and I was heavily dependent on Him every day.

Now 28 is here I enter this age knowing that God is still moving and seeing how He is (and has been) strategically putting things and people in place to set me up for what I need and where He will be taking me. I think it all hit home after digesting everything from my actual birthday. I feel like I always say this but I think it's worth mentioning again, it's so important to tell the people in your life that impact you just how much they have impacted you and what they mean to you. All of us struggle at one time or another with insecurities, comparisons, discontentment as we try not to accept the lies of the world. We live our lives being friends, moms, employees, husbands, wives and feel like the things we do (or don't do) are just...that, face value. Receiving the messages that I did from people via social media, text messages, phone calls and cards I was taken for surprise. Literally utter shock. I knew that people generally liked me (or seemed to) in the circles that I frequented but I never realized what I meant to them. When these things were told to me I was literally moved to tears...the entire day.

With Dira and Amberlea who was also celebrating her birthday. Happy birthday Amberlea!

As much as people thanked me, I thank God for using lil' ole me to do what He has called me to do. I am always in this constant struggle with Him because my natural personality is to be shy. As a result I love doing the work of the Lord but I am actually one of those people that wants to be in the background and actually mean it. I don't want people to see me, I don't want the praise, I definitely don't want the "stage" nor do I want to lead. I just want to be a part of the team (body of Christ) working silently in the background to further God's Kingdom. Though this is what I am content with and my comfort zone, God has constantly called me into positions that require leadership, encouragement and heavy people interaction. It's this pull and tug because I'm literally like "nah, I don't want people to see me" and God is like "I''m calling you out", "I want you to speak up". So I do what I do out of obedience to Him. I never want to walk in disobedience and have my disobedience be tied to someone never knowing the love of Christ. So I thank God, again, for using me. All that I mean to my community is seriously the Christ in me. I am nothing without Him. I also want to encourage someone who may feel like they are not being used because they don't see anything in the physical. You are the answer to someone's prayer. You may not know it because you think you're not doing anything grand, but you are. People are watching you and are affected by what you do in their lives. Don't you dare believe that you are not being used by God. If you are submitted to His will, He is using you.

My gift box!

Before wrapping this up I wanted to share with you a gift box that some of my friends gave me (which added to the tears). (And just to emphasize how emotional of a moment this was, I was crying so much that my mom who was sitting and watching me go through things, started to cry too. My mom...does not cry, lol. Y'all moved my mama to tears, haha). I was so moved because each thing in there was legit tailored to me and showed just how much attention they paid to who I really am. This speaks volumes to me because I sometimes struggle with feeling that no one knows the real me (deep down inside) and if they did then they wouldn't love me. This gesture showed me that people actually did know the real me and loved me regardless. Thank God for using these women to cast down the lie of the enemy!

 Gift cards: if you know me I love gift cards! I'm always shopping for things on amazon. I love going to the movies and recently scaled back a lot because it ends up costing me too much (now I can go a couple times woot!), and I love a general gift card that I can use anywhere. 

• Epson salt: I love taking baths! It's my go to for relaxing quiet time with Jesus. I always use Epson salt because it soothes my body and I ran out of it a few weeks ago.

• Candy: I'm not much of a social candy eater but I have noticed within the past couple months that after I eat lunch at work I have this sweet tooth and I want to have a small piece of candy. I'm trying to be fit and healthy overall so I like small individual sizes that allow me to eat a little bit per day. I allow myself one bag per month so this is going to last me for a while

• Skittles! Now I know it's candy still but I just have to point this out. Though I'm not much of a candy person my go tos are Skittles and Starbursts. Anyone who knows me know I love the purple bag. I don't really mess with the red or blue bags unless I have to

• Bikini razor: I saw one in the store a few months back while shopping with friends and was intrigues. I wanted to try it. They took note and got it for me!

• Mugs: I'm forever drinking tea at work

• Optimus Prime: This was so clever! If you know me you know I have a love affair with Optimus Prime from the movie Transformers. Yes, I am aware he is a robot, but he's so yummy!

• A journal: I write...a lot. If you notice me in church I always have a notebook where I am writing down notes. I also write letters to God and a lot of blogs start in my journal.

• A plaque "Don't let anyone ever steal your sparkle": I was looking for small decorative things like this to decorative my room and my office. I chose to take this to my office to also encourage my students!

Picture frames with pictures from some of my friends: I lack these and wanted them so bad. Again for my room and for my office. Now I have some. Where did yall get these from? I need to get more frames! LOL

• Perfume! If you know me you know I love perfumes and also love to have an assortment to mix it up everyday. My stash of perfumes was depleted earlier this year and I've wanted to refill my inventory for the longest time but it's so hard finding stuff for reasonable prices and scents that you like. Now I have an inventory and they smell amazing!
• A cross necklace with matching earrings: I love anything that represents Jesus and I was actually looking for smaller cross earrings. Such a beautiful set!

Popcornnnn! Let's do a praise dance for a minute cuz I'm ready to shout gloraaaay! Again, you would have to know me to know that I am obsessed with popcorn. All kinds. Skinny Pop in the back is my favorite because it makes me feel less guilty but I'll take it all.

This last thing is a google image because it's not actually here yet. My pastor recommended this to our church group a few months back. This is a set that provides a guide to every book of the New Testament. It includes translations, discussions, explanations and background information. I told everyone that I wanted this for my birthday and if they were trying to brainstorm anything to get me they could donate to the fund to help me purchase this for myself. Either way I had every intention of purchasing this as a birthday gift whether or not people donated. Thank you to all of you who donated money. This truly was a gift because I received enough to purchase without having to pay on my own. It's such a blessing and I'm so excited because it arrives in the mail tomorrow! Thank you, thank you, thank you! If you are interested in getting one of your own It's called "New Testament For Everyone Set, 18 Volumes" by N.T Wright. I am also willing to share mines with you provided that I personally know you and you are in the Mass area!

The cards are not pictured because I wanted to keep those intimate words for myself. Don't be too mad cuz yall got to see everything else, lol. Thank you to everyone that made my 28th so memorable. Thank God for another year in life. I look forward to what God is going to do in this year.

xo
Tasha

One of my sisters and I

He Wants ME

Yall know transparency is my thing so I'm going to jump right in.

For the past few weeks I have been struggling with my singleness...a lot. I struggle with it from time to time (far and few in between) for short periods of time, but this has been the longest stretch of struggling that I had ever experienced  and I couldn't figure out why. What is going on God? I found myself in a completely frustrated state in which I was actually mad about...well everything. I was tired of the sayings:

• God is preparing you to be a wife, you're not ready yet
• God is hiding you until the time comes
• This is only a season and it will come to an end
• You're a great catch and any man would be lucky to have you. Have confidence in yourself

I didn't want to hear it anymore. See, I'm a very logical person, and the reason I decided not to believe these things anymore is because logically, they no longer made sense to me. I am 27 years old and I have been walking with Christ for 5 years,

• you really want me to believe that the 21 year old woman who is getting married was more prepared that I was (spiritually, emotionally etc.)?
• you really want me to believe that God seems to be hiding only me and not anyone else
• this has been a loooong season
• If I'm a catch, someone should be trying to catch me right or nah? That's technically the definition of a catch. If no one is trying to catch the catch then how can the "catch" believe that they are truly a catch? Stay with me here. The evidence proves otherwise. If in 5 years no Christian man has tried to pursue the catch, then the catch has every right to believe that they are, in fact, not a catch...which the evidence supports

So that's where I was, struggling and feeling defeated about it all. Wondering what was wrong with me? Do I have some sort of a generational curse on me? I mean, the women in my family for the most part were never married or had failed marriages. Did I have a neon billboard attached to me that said "stay away, bad product" or am I simply not good enough?

As I began to think of these things my past thinking started to creep into my present consciousness. I spent my entire college career BC (before Christ) trying to find "the one". I was supposed to meet my one day husband while we were in college, we were to start dating and fall madly in love with one another, he was to propose on the day we graduated, we would get married and live happiy ever after. That was the plan. Instead this naive girl found herself in a college culture where relationships weren't official. I convinced myself then men only had this attitude because they hadn't met me yet. Once they got to know me, they would realize that I was worth so much more and my plan would commence. Instead I got caught in a world wind where I repeatedly got my heart broken when there was no commitment and they chose other girls. It reinforced my belief that I was not good enough, curvy enough, smart enough or pretty enough. Now this girl who has turned into a woman is today experiencing the same feeling of not being "picked" at all in 5 years since she decided to pursue Christ. The feelings of insecurity begin to creep back.

In going through this phase I had one of the realest conversations that I have ever had with God. I legitimately told Him that I was without hope...I was letting it go. All those things where He told me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14) I flat out told Him "I don't believe you, I don't trust those words and I'm over it". I had resolved to live my life with the expectation that I will never be picked, I will never be married, I will never have kids. As a result I will continue to live my life and adjust myself to fit those expectations as sad as that sounded. And that's how I was living.

This past weekend I attended the 3rd annual Heart to Heart Pinky Promise Conference in Atlanta, GA and I was in expectation to receive. I told God that if He did not want me to live in this constant state of hopelessness that He would have to meet me right where I am at the conference, and boy did He show up. Now God didn't use these speakers and His Word to talk to me about anything new. He just needed to remind me of a few things:

• He loves me like crazy (Jeremiah 31:3). Even in moments when I'm not the nicest to Him. It must have broken His heart to hear me tell Him that I did not believe Him. It breaks my heart to think that I broke His
• God's purpose for creating me does not lay solely in me being a wife. Yes it would be a nice added extra but I was created to glorify Him and to minister to a dying world. I was created to win souls for Christ. There are friends, family, coworkers and an entire world around me that are on their way to hell because they don't know Christ. What God has in store for me is much greater than a spouse, much greater than I ever imagine but I'm so busy complaining, comparing, having a critical attitude and compromising that I can't even see what He is trying to show me. Distracted much?
• I felt sad because I felt that the fact that no one has shown interest meant that no one wanted me. God reminded me that He wants me, all of me. I'm not the most popular kid on the block, never have been. I've never been the extrovert or the person that mingled easily with people. I'm on the shyer, quieter side and my friends can attest that I'm very....unique (LOL). At times it makes me insecure because I feel that no man will find that attractive. He'll want a woman who can work the room...that's not me. Again, God doesn't care about any of that, He wants me just as I am. In essence I think that's what I needed, I needed to feel wanted

So now I'm in a place where God is beginning to restore me. I'm not in a place of hopelessness anymore and I'm not in a place where I don't believe what God has to say about me. I believe that what God has for me is for me and there is no one or nothing that can stop me from getting it. I do continue to press into Christ and want to focus more on just pursuing Him and what doing what He wants me to do. I want to be passionate about pursing Him with no ulterior motives and be completely content in Him. I need that contentment because if a husband and kids are not what He has for me I want to be in a position where I would be okay with that and continue to live my life fully because God is enough.

Honestly I'm not there yet, but I am excited to get there. If, in pursing Christ a man does come along then that's great...but for now, I'm focused on Him and I.

I open up and share this story because I want to encourage you single person to really be intentional about enjoying this season for all it is. I know that we all struggle with this feeling of being unwanted and feeling like God has forgotten about you. The devil is a liar. Take back the truth and don't allow him to have a field day in your mind and in your emotions. You're allowed to feel sad if that's what you need, but don't sit and wallow in that sadness for weeks. Get up and do God's work, your entire life is a ministry and there are souls assigned to you. Until you can honestly say that you are completely content with God and only God, you're not ready to be married. Getting married is not going to solve your loneliness or unhappy problem. Your spouse will be human and 100% will fail you. You will need to bring your whole and content self into that marriage so that you are depending on God, not your spouse to bring you eternal joy (because you've had so much practice with that in your single season). Let's do a quick #IdolCheck #RealityCheck #HeartCheck and make sure that Jesus, not a relationship, is at the front of your mind.

Here are some verses to meditate on:

Psalm 55:22  Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.

1 Peter  5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Isaiah 30:18 Therefore the LORD waits to be gracious to you,and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the LORD is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him. 

Philippians 4:11 Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.

I hope my willingness to be open has blessed and convicted you. Please feel free to comment below or send me a directly email ro AskMYstilettos@gmail.com if you would like to tell me something privately or request prayer.

xo
Tasha

Fight For Godly Friendships

A few weeks ago I was praying with a friend and God pressed something on my heart about godly friendships. I think this message can apply to the whole body of Christ, but for the purposes of this blog I'm going to focus on women.

It's not very often that you see women genuinely walking with each other as friends or as a sisterhood without any jealousy, bitterness, gossiping, back stabbing or tearing each other down. We roll our eyes at it or get angry when it happens to us, but if we're truly honest with ourselves, we are never surprised. It's just what happens. I have had the pleasure of fellowshipping with and building friendships with women who make it their goal to be genuine and truly love one another, and each time it just blows my mind at how awesome that is. They are loving, uplifting, encouraging and speak life into me.

Let's be real though, we women have a lot of emotions and are emotionally led. I realize now that the devil doesn't want us godly women connected with one another. There is power in agreement and he knows that

Matthew 18:19 

 I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you

Imagine the kind of power that we would have if we stopped tearing each other down, agreed and truly stood in unity and community with one another. Since the devil knows that, he will do any and everything that he can to keep up separated from one another. He is going to attack the relationship that you have with other women of God.

I want to encourage you today to not let that happen. Let's be intentional about keeping healthy godly relationships. We all have different backgrounds and point of views so differences are bound to arise. You might unintentionally do something to offend someone as a result. You may say something in a way that is interpreted another way to another sister. You might get in little arguments with one another. That's okay, that's life. Instead of being so quick to cut people off (because that's easy and I'm def the one to be like "I'm out") take a moment to realize that it's not necessarily beneficial to you, that friend or the body of Christ. We have to realize that this brotherhood and sisterhood that we develop with one another is more than just us, it's about the body, it's about the Kingdom of God. When you realize that, your perspective changes and you take your eyes off of you. Nothing that we Christians do on this earth is about us, it's about Him (Christ). We live to bring glory to His name so that people can know who He is.

So I want to encourage you today to fight for godly friendships. If something happens, go talk to your friend and resolve to reconcile the relationship. If someone has hurt you, forgive them as Christ freely forgives us every...single...day. If you have hurt or offended someone, apologize. Ask them what you can do to make it better. Learn from the situation and don't do it again. When those thoughts of jealousy and bitterness start to creep in your mind cast them down.

Proverbs 4:23

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it

You don't have time for that. Fight your flesh daily to take the easy way out. Determine to love unconditionally as Christ has loved us .

John 13:34

So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other

We can't change other people, the only person we can change is ourselves. So today, make the decision to fight. Many times this is going to call for you to be humble and die to your flesh. It may suck you'll be iight.

**Note: I am talking about godly friendships specifically here. Sometimes there are friendships that are toxic or the season is up. Pray about it and if God leads you to go your separate ways then definitely obey Him in that area**

Feel free to email me at ASKmyStilettos@gmail.com if you have any comments, questions or prayer requests that you would like to share with me privately.

xo

Tasha

Run to God, not Humans

I want to start this blog off with this disclaimer: I believe in the gift of prophesy.

I believe the Lord gives all of us special gifts and talents to be shared with others and used for the Kingdom. I believe all of these gifts has it's place in the body and is of great use to us Christians. As I was thinking about certain gifts, I felt it on my heart to write a blog warning Christians to be careful not to use the gifts that God has given to humans as a substitute for speaking to God Himself. For the purposes of this blog, I will reference the gift of prophesy and the gift of dream interpretation as my examples.

A few months ago I spoke to a friend who has the gift of prophecy who shared things with me that God revealed to her in terms of me. One of of things that she shared to me was a complete shock, so much so, that I had to grab my bearings for a bit. See I was so surprised because God had said nothing to me in regards to this particular topic...nothing at all. So I was left wondering, where is this all coming from? Since then, I have not done what I was told to do as yet because God still has said nothing to me about it. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying what was shared to me was untrue...it could very well be true. However, prophesy can be complicated sometimes; it could mean something that is going to happen right now, something that is going to happen in the future or even give a partial clue but not the whole picture.

So I have been staying put, I have not moved and I am seeking God on this. Why? Because God will never reveal something about you to someone else without telling you first or confirming by speaking to you about it after. God is not a respecter of persons, if He talks to someone else, He will surely talk to you too. He sent His one and only Son to this earth to die for you so that He can break the barrier that was separating you and I from Him. We don't need a secondary person to hear from Him, we can hear from Him on our own.

Again, I'm not discrediting the gift of prophesy or dream interpretation, what I'm trying to say, it grieves my heart when I see Christians clinging to the words of people who have these gifts and depend on them to hear from God instead of going on their faces to God on their own. That can be dangerous! Yes God has gifted these people but we also have to remember that they too are humans, they don't live perfect sinless lives and there are subject to struggling with the flesh. What if one day, what they're telling you is not from God but from their flesh? How will you know? When will you know? Especially if you are depending on them to hear from a message from God? You won't! And you risk doing something or going on a path that is completely opposite of where God wants you to be, because you listened to what someone told you He said without taking the time to go into prayer and getting that confirmation from God.

He is not a source, He is THE source, let us not forget that. Let us stop making idols of these people and go back to worship the true God. Having a problem? Not sure what to do? Waiting to hear from God? Stop running to go on the prophet conference calls looking to hear from him. Stop going to church and expecting your preacher to give you a personalize message from God. Had a weird dream and not sure what it means? Stop running to look for dream interpreters to find out the meaning. Get on your face and talk to the Dream Giver.

I'm so passionate bout this because I, too at times have slipped up and been this person. I've been the person sitting in the audience at church while the speaker starts to pick out people and prophesy over them and hope that he picks me because I want to get a message too. I have been the person to hang around those who can prophesy in hopes that they will tell me something from God. I have been the one who has had dreams ( I dream a lot) and went around asking people "what do you think it means? I would ask a lot of people. Never once did I ask God what it means.

So if you're reading this and you know you have the tendency to do this, let's agree to stop. Let's agree to share this with other people who might have the tendency to do this (run to humans instead of God). Believe me, I get it. The idea of getting this information from a human seems great because it's easy. It's a real person on the other line or standing in front of you, it's audible so there is no question about what they're saying. It could be someone of influence that you respect and their spiritual life is on point or spiritual maturity level is high so it it must be from God. But let us practice patience. Run to God. He wants to talk to you. He wants to share with you. He wants you to take some time and listen to Him and what He is telling you. Sometimes when you ask Him for direction, answers, clarification or meaning the answer is yes, no, we'll see, silence or not now. Just because you don't hear anything from Him right there in that moment doesn't mean you go running to someone else. Wait on the Lord. I'm sure there are times when people have dreams and seek God's face, He leads them to another brother or sister within the body to get the answer. That's okay. Sometimes God will send someone to you who He has given the answer to. That's okay. Just make sure other humans aren't your first stop.


As I was writing this blog, this article was shared with me. Here's an example of someone h"hearing from God" gone wrong:
Pastor Impregnates 20 Members of His Congregation and Claims the Holy Spirit Told Him to Do it

I hope this was a blessing to you and that your eyes have been opened or refocused.

xo
Tasha

Hello Pot...Meet Kettle

If you've been a follower of my blogs from the moment that I started writing about 3 years ago, you'll probably notice that there is one thing that I generally don't discuss, homosexuality. I am fully aware of it and to be completely honest it's something that I intentionally (publicly) stay away from. Why? Fear. Fear of being persecuted for my beliefs and opinion on the whole issue and fear that the moment that I say that it is a sin and I don't believe in it, I will be completely blocked out without a chance to further explain where I stand. I fear the rejection, hate, and persecution for any Christian that opens their mouth concerning this subject.

There actually was a time when I first started writing blogs where I actually wrote about homosexuality. The struggle I experienced to understand it, how this related to the Bible and the what God thought about it. I met a young woman online who was a lesbian, got saved and delivered from homosexuality and I got a chance to reach out to her, have a real conversation and she helped me understand some things that were beyond my scope of understanding. The blog that I wrote, was about that conversation that I had with her, but here we are... three years later and it still sits in my drafts...never published. Fear.

I had a conversation a few months ago that laid heavy on my heart in regards to homosexuality. It lays so heavy that I have to push pass this fear and share with you. The Bible says in 2 Timothy 1:7

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind

Fear is not of God, it is from the devil and he uses it as an attempt to stifle us into not speaking or doing as God says. If you pushed pass that fear and spoke (or acted) it would mean that you would speak a message to someone that needed to hear that message which could, in turn, change their life. This message is for you (including myself), Christians and I hope it convicts you:

About to learn how to salsa dance with some friends last year

I was having a conversation with a group of friends in regards to men and women in the church who are homosexual and serving in ministries. Let's take a worship leader for example, is it appropriate for him/her to lead worship if they are homosexual? Is that hurting or helping the body of Christ? A point of view was given that if they have been in the church for years and hearing the Word of God and are a Christian, by now they should have come out of that lifestyle? Why haven't they changed by now?

Please note I will hold my response to these questions until the end of the blog.

The conversation then switched over to homosexual artists. If you liked a singer and their songs and you then found out later down the road that they are homosexual, would that change the way you viewed them? A comment was made that this would change the way the person would think about them, they might not listen to them anymore or support their music anymore. This made me think of other conversations that I've had where people (remember I'm talking about Christians here) would stop watching a movie if there was a homosexual scene in it or not go see the movie at all if they knew ahead of time. Or some choose to not watch TV series such as The Fosters because it's about a homosexual couple. Oh no, we're not going to look at that...right?

My response to all of this:

Since when did it become okay to put the sin of homosexuality in a complete category from every other sin? Do we not say that one sin isn't bigger than the other? Are they not all the same? Just because a lot of times homosexuality is more visible to the eye than others that aren't easily seen (such as lust, fornication, masturbation etc) doesn't mean that we have a right to judge that more harshly than other sins. I don't think we understand that, that is what we do. We judge the sin that can seen more than the secret sins. 

For the worship leader that we were we speaking about earlier. My response to that thought is: it's unfortunate that the person is still in that life style and hasn't been delivered yet. However, there are many of us in the church struggling with our own sins whether it's fornication, adultery or  addictions, there is something that we struggle with or have struggled with, and we too have been in the church, serving in ministry and hearing the Word for years. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's okay to stay in that place, we need to be intentional about praying for deliverance and doing our part (i.e. take action) to get free. So why is it taking that that gay man or lesbian woman so long to get free? Probably the same reason it took you a while to get free from your mess. 

In regards to homosexual artists, or acts on TVs and movies, I thought to myself that it was interesting how some of us choose to draw the line there. We're Christians, we don't condone and therefore will not watch it or not support those artists. Yet, we'll listen to songs and watch movies with foul language, degrading language, explicit sex scenes with an unmarried couple (or hook up). We'll tolerate seeing things that promote pride, lust, fornication etc and we'll be completely unphased by it. But homosexuality? Oh no that's not okay.

So what am I trying to say?  I'm saying we need to do better, myself included. I too am guilty at times of separating one sin out from another as if one is worse that the next and that's really not the case. Just because a sin can be seen better than another does not give us the the right to judge it more harshly than another. Most of the times we shouldn't even be judging (can I be real?). We are called to judge each other righteously which means that I am sharing the truth with you or correcting you in love. If  we're honest with ourselves, a lot the times we (Christians) judge, it comes from a place of hate or level of superiority where we are looking down on you for what we have "caught" you doing. Now I'm not telling you what artists you should and should not listen to, what movies you should and should not watch, that's between you and God. Just make sure that whatever you choose to do isn't contradictory.

Let's do better guys. Let's be Christ representers. Let's be love.

For those of you who may be intrigued by the blog I wrote three years ago but never published out of fear. I will finally break out of that and publish that blog next. Stay tuned.

 Waiting in line to learn how to salsa dance last year

xo 

Tasha 

Happy Valentines Day!

So I meant to post this yesterday for Valentines Day but I forgot. A few months ago, one of my sisters in Christ who is a part of the Pinky Promise Movement felt it on her heart to share her love story with myself and others. I've gotten her permission to share it publicly on my blog and I hope you are as blessed by this as I was. 

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In 2011 I was engaged to be married. I was so engaged that all I really had left was to pick up my already purchased wedding dress, make sure my wedding party of 26 was prepared to walk and ensure that my guests, who just received save-the-dates, would shortly receive the actual wedding invitation. The wedding was underway but the marriage didn't stand a chance.  I found myself in a forever relationship with a longtime friend that was temporary.

I would be lying if I said something went wrong somewhere in the relationship and it was big surprise to me, but there were signs from the beginning that I ignored. I believed that our existing friendship, his feelings for me and our semi-similar future aspirations made for a perfect recipe for a marriage. I could not have been more wrong. I found myself having to make the HARDEST decision of my life, and called off my wedding just four months shy of “the day”.

Following this decision I carried a lot of shame, felt completely alone, isolated and very unsure of my ability to love and be loved again. I went through a period of fasting and prayer, to dating some people (it just didn't feel right) and then back to fasting again.  I knew I had to let God take control of this and every other area in my life but I was just trying to be “helpful” and share the burden of finding my one day husband with God. 

I had even contemplated online dating thinking that it could be one way to be found. I decided that by 11:59 pm on December 31^st 2013, if God had NOT told me to NOT go online, I would create an online dating profile. So I didn't get a call, text, FaceTime or anything from God saying no and decided that was my green light to create a profile. So long story short, the online profile was deactivated 1 hour after it was created. I’ll never get that hour of my life back. I then throw up my hands and said “God, it’s seriously in your hands now, I surrender ALL to you”.

That’s honestly what I did. I came back home after a great break with family with a plan to put God first and totally get comfortable spending time with God and God alone. I fasted, read my word and I was happy to be in constant communication with my Maker.

Out of nowhere on a random Thursday in late January, this young man I once knew from my old job in a local mall reached out to me on Facebook just to say "hi". After a few messages, we made plans to meet up for brunch. I was not thinking anything of it because he was younger than me and I had created a crazy rule stating I would not date younger men (Note: the devil can be in the details/barriers we put up). He said food and I said YES (I like food; no judgment). I was not aware at that point that God had His hands all over this brunch and hasn't once let go of us since. Ten months later, I am the happiest girlfriend on earth and excited to be with my "Snug".

I share this story because, although I have received divine confirmation about my relationship numerous times, I recently became overcome with joy knowing God loved me so much, He sent me my boyfriend in such a way that I KNOW it was Him and not me or my Snug. This revelation also made me realize the error of my dating ways of the past.

After watching a video on YouTube by Touré Roberts entitled “5 Keys to Identifying Your Soulmate”, it made me grin from ear to ear. Each point that was discussed spoke directly to my current relationship. I want to share this with you because what the video also made me realize is that often times people hear a word from a friend, in church, a YouTube video or the Bible that convicts them about their current situation and they do nothing about it. Many times people do not allow themselves to succumb to the come-to-Jesus moments that has been delivered to them through these outlets by the Most High.

I encourage you to watch the video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJutjZ5mm9E  and act wisely on the feelings God is putting on your heart. I once almost made a mistake that would have derailed me from receiving my true blessing. We need to stop worrying about what people think or how our current partner may feel. If God’s hand is in your relationship, you will know and it will have nothing to do with what YOU did or haven’t done but what GOD has done and what He knows is right. So watch the video and take a pulse on what’s going on in your relationship. Don’t force confirmation because the truth will come to the surface at some point. If there is confirmation, rejoice and thank the Lord for your blessings. If you are convicted to make a change, rejoice that the Lord has provided you wisdom, discernment and direction. If you are currently single and not dating/courting, remember the past (don't live there) and change your present behavior to make yourself available for what God has to offer.

Let’s surrender everything to God and watch Hm do the miraculous!

Need encouragement? Read and mediate on the following scriptures:

Surrender your life to Christ: Luke 9:23

God has your back: Jeremiah 29:11

Life changing scripture: 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Can't beat God giving: Ephesians 3:20-21 

For those fighting the call to RUN: Philippians 3:13-14

Love you,

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I hope you had an amazing day yesterday whether it was as a single person or a married person. Remember true happiness and contentment is found only in Christ, no human can give you what you are looking for, no human can fill that void. If you find yourself sulking, sad, "hating" or even being bitter on Valentines Day, you should probably put yourself in a timeout and go get your heart mended by God. That's an indicator that you are not completely healed from...whatever, thus you are not made whole. You don't want to meet your "Adam" or enter a relationship being any less than a whole person. You'll bring those issue right into a relationship with you. 

I know I missed doing a January post, I was bring lazy. I hope y'all had a great couple of months. I will return I couple of weeks with a new blog post!

xo

Tasha