On September 5th I “celebrated” by 2nd year spiritual
birthday. It marked 2 years since I decided to give my life to Christ and
turn my life around. To this day I know that’s the best thing I could
have done for myself. Let’s take a trip down memory lane…
I was a recent graduate from college (yay Northeastern Huskies!!). I found myself in a dump, feeling low about life, myself, my circumstances. I was looking for something, not only in that moment, but realized that I had spent years looking for something but couldn’t find it, nor did I know what I was looking for.
Relationship wise…I was a wreck. I was still really hurt and damaged emotionally over a guy who I had ended things with 10 months prior. Felt like I was a good person and what one may consider “wifey material” but didn’t think I was enough for a man to only want to be with me and not cheat with other girls.
Career wise…I was unsure. I graduated in May but took some summer classes and ended school for real at the end of August. I was working at the airport and I felt like everyone else in my class either went to grad school, got these amazing jobs and/or knew exactly what they wanted to do and they were pursuing it. I, on the other hand, knew that I had to look for a full time job but didn’t even know where to begin looking because I had no clue what I wanted to do with my life. I also knew that I wanted to go to grad school but grad school is so specific and you really have to know what you want to do with you life…which I didn’t. I had an emotional break down/crying fit with my mother on the phone because I was lost and felt left behind.
Social wise..I was lonely. I really believe that you make the friends that you will have for life in college and it was really hard adjusting to post grad life. A few of my friends remained in Boston but a vast majority went back to their hometowns. We were no longer together.
Misc stuff also made me sad. Earlier on the summer, TC’s mom (TC was my best friend for years), passed away. She was like a second mom to me and I loved her deeply as my own. I hadn’t seen or spoken to her in about 2 years because TC and I had a falling out (will talk about that in a later blog). I happened to find out (I know God had a huge role in this) randomly about 2 days before she passed. Thankfully I got to see her and say my goodbyes before she left (though it makes losing her no easier). If that wasn’t hard enough to stomach, 2 weeks later I found out my childhood best friend, Simone (I speak about her in one of my earlier blogs called “Fallen Angel”) along with 2 other other childhood friends, were killed in a car accident.
All of those pieces coming together brought me to a place lower than I had ever been in my life. I don’t think I hit rock bottom but I was fairly close. Going through all of this, I visited a friend from college and her husband (Ana and Eni) who had recently had a baby. I remember holding Grant and telling him a folklore tale but saying “it’s in the Bible”. The couple responded by saying “that’s not in the Bible, that’s just a tale”. They weren’t being mean or rude in anyway, but that rocked me to my core. The fact that I really did think that what I said was in the Bible. I went home that night in deep thought, wondering how could I have made that mistake? I grew up in church, I used to know Bible verses by heart and I used to know the Bible very well. How did I get to a point where I hadn’t been to church in over 5 years, I no longer prayed, I no longer read the Bible nor knew what it said and I was living neck deep in sin. How and when did all of that happen? I always knew that I wanted to marry a man who loved God and was in the church but I started to look at myself and the way I lived and wondered “if I were a man of God, would I want to date me? Am I the type of woman a man of God would desire? Am I a Proverbs 31 woman? Do I think God is proud of me? Am I even proud of me?” The answer to all of those questions was a simple “no”. (P.S: Ana and her husband don’t even know that they were the very thing that pushed me to make a decision that would forever change my life =) )
That was when I decided that I needed to make a change in my life. I knew I wanted to give my life to Christ but I wanted to do it the right way. I didn’t want to be one of those Christians who professed God with their mouth but their actions are worldly. I had seen enough of those types. My birthday was coming up and friends were coming from all over to party at the club and I didn’t want to let them down so I put off the whole “saved” thing until my birthday and a friend’s birthday (the following week) passed. Call it the last hoorah if you must. I literally went to the club and got so drunk Saturday night then went to church and gave my life to Christ the next day. Since then I haven’t been back and I haven’t looked back. (I don’t recommend this. I could have died before I got a chance to get things right. I’m blessed and favored that I didn’t. Don’t put off for tomorrow what you can do today. Tomorrow is not promised)
It’s kind of weird to think that this all happened 2 years ago. Seems like yesterday but forever at the same time. God has seriously blessed and restored me since then.
Relationship wise: I’m single, but I’m happy. I had never learned how to be happy without a man and by myself, but now I have. I have a different view on dating and how I would like to be “courted” (will talk about that in a later blog). And by the way, I now know that I am more than enough for any man that has me.
Career wise: I have a job that I love! Thank you Jesus. I wouldn’t say I’m 100% sure what I want to do with the rest of my life but I have given that to God and know that He will guide and direct me as long as I’m willing to listen. I’m also enrolled in a Masters program and I’m going to school for free.
Social wise: not lonely anymore. I have met and continue to meet wonderful brothers and sisters in Christ who pour into me. I’m involved in church and in ministries. I still get to see my college friends ever so often.
Misc stuff: 2 years have passed. I still miss Aunty Clare, Simone, Roberta and Rushay, but I know they are in a better place. I have Aunty Clare’s daily bread that she gave to me years ago that I read. Knowing it’s from her gives me some comfort. God gave me a special message about Simone. I know she’s ok.
Most importantly: I know God more, I hear Him speaking. I’m reading the Word everyday and I’m getting to know it again. I’m not perfect but I know He is proud of me and I am proud of myself. I strive everyday to be the Proverbs 31 woman.
Advice for those considering this walk or new to the walk? Do it! It’s the best decision that you can make for yourself and it’s completely worth it (despite the trials). What better decision is there than to give your life back to the one who knows you best because you are His creation?
-Tasha
I was a recent graduate from college (yay Northeastern Huskies!!). I found myself in a dump, feeling low about life, myself, my circumstances. I was looking for something, not only in that moment, but realized that I had spent years looking for something but couldn’t find it, nor did I know what I was looking for.
Relationship wise…I was a wreck. I was still really hurt and damaged emotionally over a guy who I had ended things with 10 months prior. Felt like I was a good person and what one may consider “wifey material” but didn’t think I was enough for a man to only want to be with me and not cheat with other girls.
Career wise…I was unsure. I graduated in May but took some summer classes and ended school for real at the end of August. I was working at the airport and I felt like everyone else in my class either went to grad school, got these amazing jobs and/or knew exactly what they wanted to do and they were pursuing it. I, on the other hand, knew that I had to look for a full time job but didn’t even know where to begin looking because I had no clue what I wanted to do with my life. I also knew that I wanted to go to grad school but grad school is so specific and you really have to know what you want to do with you life…which I didn’t. I had an emotional break down/crying fit with my mother on the phone because I was lost and felt left behind.
Social wise..I was lonely. I really believe that you make the friends that you will have for life in college and it was really hard adjusting to post grad life. A few of my friends remained in Boston but a vast majority went back to their hometowns. We were no longer together.
Misc stuff also made me sad. Earlier on the summer, TC’s mom (TC was my best friend for years), passed away. She was like a second mom to me and I loved her deeply as my own. I hadn’t seen or spoken to her in about 2 years because TC and I had a falling out (will talk about that in a later blog). I happened to find out (I know God had a huge role in this) randomly about 2 days before she passed. Thankfully I got to see her and say my goodbyes before she left (though it makes losing her no easier). If that wasn’t hard enough to stomach, 2 weeks later I found out my childhood best friend, Simone (I speak about her in one of my earlier blogs called “Fallen Angel”) along with 2 other other childhood friends, were killed in a car accident.
All of those pieces coming together brought me to a place lower than I had ever been in my life. I don’t think I hit rock bottom but I was fairly close. Going through all of this, I visited a friend from college and her husband (Ana and Eni) who had recently had a baby. I remember holding Grant and telling him a folklore tale but saying “it’s in the Bible”. The couple responded by saying “that’s not in the Bible, that’s just a tale”. They weren’t being mean or rude in anyway, but that rocked me to my core. The fact that I really did think that what I said was in the Bible. I went home that night in deep thought, wondering how could I have made that mistake? I grew up in church, I used to know Bible verses by heart and I used to know the Bible very well. How did I get to a point where I hadn’t been to church in over 5 years, I no longer prayed, I no longer read the Bible nor knew what it said and I was living neck deep in sin. How and when did all of that happen? I always knew that I wanted to marry a man who loved God and was in the church but I started to look at myself and the way I lived and wondered “if I were a man of God, would I want to date me? Am I the type of woman a man of God would desire? Am I a Proverbs 31 woman? Do I think God is proud of me? Am I even proud of me?” The answer to all of those questions was a simple “no”. (P.S: Ana and her husband don’t even know that they were the very thing that pushed me to make a decision that would forever change my life =) )
That was when I decided that I needed to make a change in my life. I knew I wanted to give my life to Christ but I wanted to do it the right way. I didn’t want to be one of those Christians who professed God with their mouth but their actions are worldly. I had seen enough of those types. My birthday was coming up and friends were coming from all over to party at the club and I didn’t want to let them down so I put off the whole “saved” thing until my birthday and a friend’s birthday (the following week) passed. Call it the last hoorah if you must. I literally went to the club and got so drunk Saturday night then went to church and gave my life to Christ the next day. Since then I haven’t been back and I haven’t looked back. (I don’t recommend this. I could have died before I got a chance to get things right. I’m blessed and favored that I didn’t. Don’t put off for tomorrow what you can do today. Tomorrow is not promised)
It’s kind of weird to think that this all happened 2 years ago. Seems like yesterday but forever at the same time. God has seriously blessed and restored me since then.
Relationship wise: I’m single, but I’m happy. I had never learned how to be happy without a man and by myself, but now I have. I have a different view on dating and how I would like to be “courted” (will talk about that in a later blog). And by the way, I now know that I am more than enough for any man that has me.
Career wise: I have a job that I love! Thank you Jesus. I wouldn’t say I’m 100% sure what I want to do with the rest of my life but I have given that to God and know that He will guide and direct me as long as I’m willing to listen. I’m also enrolled in a Masters program and I’m going to school for free.
Social wise: not lonely anymore. I have met and continue to meet wonderful brothers and sisters in Christ who pour into me. I’m involved in church and in ministries. I still get to see my college friends ever so often.
Misc stuff: 2 years have passed. I still miss Aunty Clare, Simone, Roberta and Rushay, but I know they are in a better place. I have Aunty Clare’s daily bread that she gave to me years ago that I read. Knowing it’s from her gives me some comfort. God gave me a special message about Simone. I know she’s ok.
Most importantly: I know God more, I hear Him speaking. I’m reading the Word everyday and I’m getting to know it again. I’m not perfect but I know He is proud of me and I am proud of myself. I strive everyday to be the Proverbs 31 woman.
Advice for those considering this walk or new to the walk? Do it! It’s the best decision that you can make for yourself and it’s completely worth it (despite the trials). What better decision is there than to give your life back to the one who knows you best because you are His creation?
-Tasha
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