Original Post: March 2013
At the beginning of each new year it is custom for my church to do a
fast in the month of January for about 21-40 days. This year, instead of
fasting all at once, leadership announced that we will be doing a 40
day fast split up into the beginning of the 4 seasons (Winter, Spring,
Summer and Fall). My intent was always to take note of what I was
thinking about daily for the 1st round but I just never got to it, so
here’s to round 2…10 days of fasting:
Day 1
Can I be honest? I always have mixed emotions when a fast is
announced. I’m excited because it means turning down my plate and the
distractions of the world and spending even more time with God. Then I
realize that I will not be eating as I am used to and it makes me a
little sad. No one likes to not eat (regularly) and your stomach usually
doesn’t like it either. So I’m excited and a little bummed and then
excited again. I would not recommend traveling while fasting if you can
help it, lesson learned. I was reminded today that everything happens
for a reason. I’ve been up since 3am traveling back to Boston from San
Diego, my flight was cancelled, I had to rebook, got rerouted to
Houston, TX, layover for hours and then got back into Boston late at
night. I had a meeting that I wanted to go to that I missed and I was
pissed. What a way to start off a fast huh? God has everything happen
for a reason. Who knows what He saved me from by not being in the air at
the time I was supposed to? My cousin moved to Houston exactly one year
ago and I haven’t seen her since. She NEVER misses work but just so
“happened” to call in sick that day because she was tired. She was was
able to come and hang with me at the airport during my layover. When I
saw her, I was so overwhelmed with emotion that I started crying
(bawling really). I needed to see her, I needed that. Things may not go
the way that you plan. In the midst of disruption, instead of getting
mad at God and the situation, take a minute, breathe, chill out and know
that God knows what He is doing and why He is doing it. Trust Him. He’s
got you.
Day 2
I was thinking about lent this morning, and how everyone gives up
something for lent for many reasons. Giving up something is more than a
religious tradition though. It’s a type of fasting. Though you are
sacrificing something for a period of time, it’s supposed to replaced by
prayer/more time in the Word…more time with God. Fasting without more
Jesus or without spending time with God is just starving yourself, hence
useless. I’m guilty of this sometimes. I need to spend more time
seeking God’s face than I do on the regular while fasting.
P.S: If you’re excited to fast because you’re going to lose some
weight that you wanted to lose, I think it’s safe to say that you may be
missing the point.
Day 3
This day depends on the individual, how often they fast and what they
are fasting from, but my body not only realizes that I’m not eating as
per usual but is beginning to lose it’s energy. Day 3. So far I’ve
mainly been on water and an occasional fruit if I start to feel myself
getting weak at work. I still have to perform on the job. It amazes me
how God continues to strengthen my body. The first few times I did a
fast I got this feeling half way through the first day. Progress. Today
as I thought of my my body’s physical weakness, I imagine how my spirit
feels if I don’t pray, don’t spend time with God or read His Word. Even
though I physically can’t feel it, my spirit gets so weak. No wonder we
fall into sin, our spirits don’t have the energy or capability to fight
back. Stay in God’s presence, stay prayed up, don’t let your spirit get
week. It’s when you are weak that the devil prances and attacks.
Day 4
I can’t stop thinking about ice cream. No matter what I do: ice
cream, ice cream, ice cream. The funny thing is…I don’t even eat ice
cream like. A couple times a year maybe. It’s interesting the random
things you start thinking about when you’re fasting. I am, however,
excited because I discovered Jamba juice the other day. Why has no one
ever told me about this smoothie place?! The have an online menu of all
their drinks so I’m just purchasing fruits on my own, following the
smoothie recipes and saving money. #winning. I was reading the Bible
today in Luke 10:23-24 where Jesus talks about people seeing and hearing
the same things that Christians hear but don’t HEAR it. I
don’t know why I’ve never noticed this passage before but for some
reason it stood out to me. In this walk with Christ I sometimes wonder
how I didn’t see truth that was coming from the Word or other
Christians. Why did I get it? Why don’t other people get it? God reveals
Himself to those of us who want to pursue a relationship with Him. In
that relationship we really begin to SEE and HEAR a lot of things that
those not in relationship with Him don’t see or hear.
Day 5
Half way through. Thank God for friends and sisters in Christ who are
there to encourage you and be real with you. Another honest moment, I
haven’t been feeling as close to God as I usually do. I still
participate in ministry, I still go to church and worship, but my
everyday quiet time and regular Bible study has been seriously lacking .
I’m stuck in a rut. I don’t have the excitement or passion of a
“newborn” Christian anymore. That makes me miserable. Not necessarily a
good feeling but a good sign. I wouldn’t feel this down about it if I
didn’t have a relationship with God in the first place. You don’t miss
someone or notice a presence not as strong unless you didn’t have a
relationship with them. I talked to a sister in Christ who encouraged me
to push through, which I will. My flesh may not want me to but my
spirit wants it, and as I mentioned in Day 3, you don’t necessarily feel
your spirit’s needs as strongly as you feel your flesh’s needs. My
spirit has probably been starving. Thank God for this fast. Came just in
time when I needed it.
Day 6
I would not recommend wearing stilettos while fasting. Woosh. My body
usually realizes by day 3 that I’m denying it food so I assume that it
starts to store as much as it possibly can. Today it was just severely
pissed off, lol. It’ll get over it. One thing that fasting teaches you
is self control and delayed gratification. I don’t HAVE to fast. I can
go to any store, cheat or fulfill the many cravings that I’m having now.
Fasting is a choice. In this time, I not only spend more time with God
but I also spend more time telling my flesh that I am in control of it,
it is not in control of me.
Random: When God places someone on your heart strongly for an unknown
reason, pray for them. Reach out to them and say something nice and
uplifting. We all go through stuff behind closed doors. As that person
was praying to God for comfort, God is reaching out to you to provide
that comfort for His child. What an awesome God! I just had this
experience today.
Day 7
Almost there! I keep on thinking to myself that if I started by fast
the same time as the rest of my church that this would actually be day
8. It’s okay though. After receiving a text from a friend today, I
realized that some of you may wonder why Christians fast. I figured I’d
share it as it was explained to me and as I I best came to understand
it. 1) Jesus fasted. We aim to follow Jesus and His example so if he
fasts, we fast 2) We are both spirit and flesh, that is how God created
us. Let’s pretend that the spirit is a chihuahua dog and the flesh is a
pit bull. If the chihuahua was to fight a pit bull who would win? This
is pretty obvious but…the pit bull. Why? The pit bull is bigger and
stronger. Our flesh is pretty strong. We walk by the spirit and we avoid
sin by the spirit, our flesh wants to sin…we are sinful creatures. But
what if we stopped feeding the pit bull food over the period of, let’s
say….10 days, but we continued to to feed the chihuahua regularly. What
would happen if they fought now? The chihuahua would win. Why? It didn’t
grow at all, but being fed consistently allowed it to keep it’s
strength and possibly even grow stronger. The lack of food given to the
pit bull greatly reduced the amount of strength it had so size no longer
matters. It will be annihilated. We get thirsty, we drink. We get
hungry, we eat. We want entertainment, we read a book, watch TV, listen
to music etc. We consistently feed our flesh and sometimes feed our
flesh more than our spirit. Fasting is away to deny or starve the flesh
so that we can make our spirit stronger. With a stronger spirit we have a
better
chance at fighting off the flesh
Day 8
My body is learning to accept what it gets in terms of fruits and
veggies for food. I know no longer feel like I’m starving. I
feel…content. It’s interesting, when you take over your body, you tell
it what you’re going to eat, and after a week or so…it learns and obeys.
Makes me realize that I don’t have to be a “slave” to food and eat as
much as I eat. I can take control because my body doesn’t necessarily
need all that I’m eating (quantity wise). This is a good starting point
to reduce my portions permanently. My stomach has shrunk anyway.
Day 9
Riding on the train today, I saw someone eat a warm sandwich. They
were going in. To be honest, I was staring, I wish I had that sandwich
to eat. I miss food. That made me think to myself “How many hungry
people are there out there that have to walk around and see people
enjoying their food when that have none of their own?” They don’t know
where their next meal is coming from. They don’t know how they’re going
to feed their kids. That person beside me had no clue that I’ve been
without regular food or that I wished I was eating that. I don’t look hungry,
I looked “normal”. There are so many “normal” looking people out there
that are hungry. I am blessed to know that if I need to eat, I can.
There are people out there that don’t have that luxury. For me, fasting
is an option, for them it’s not. That hurts my heart.
P.S: Since
I’m not on social media for this fast, I didn’t get a chance to shout my
sister out on her birthday which is TODAY! Happy birthday Sabz! I feel
like it was yesterday that I held you as a baby for the first time and
now you’re 18. I wish I got the chance to watch you grow throughout all
your years but I’m happy to be here to see you mature into an adult.
Hope you’re having a great day wishing you so many more happy, healthy
and prosperous years. Keep God first in everything that you do and stay
the sweet girl you are. xoxo
Day 10
Hillsong radio on Pandora »>
"How great is our God. Sing with
me how great is our God. And all will see how great, how great, is our
God" This song has been on my heart all morning . Last day of the fast. I
feel restoration in my relationship with God, something I really
needed. No matter how far you may stray, He’s right there when you need
Him and are looking for Him. Being away from social media was easy,
which surprised me. I’ve learned that I don’t need to be on there all
the time checking out what’s going on with other people’s lives. Another
honest moment, sometimes seeing what everyone else is up to can cause
me to compare where they are in life with where I am in life and wonder
if I’m lagging behind? Everyone is getting engaged. Should I be getting
engaged? I’m not even dating. Everyone is having babies. Should I be
having babies? I’m not even married? Am I falling behind? Doing enough
of that can cause you to have dissatisfaction with your own life. My
path is not other people’s path and their path is not mine…and that’s
okay. Limiting time on social media allows one to focus more on your own
life rather than on the life of others. Social media is okay, in
moderation. Food: raw fruits, raw veggie, steamed veggie, raw cashews
and yogurt (only for smoothies) were the only things that I consumed
over the past 10 days. Cravings for "real food" come a lot, but it
amazes me how little someone’s body can survive on. I consume a lot of
unnecessary things.
This wasn’t a typical blog. A little bit more personal that usual and
more of a “journal” format. Just wanted to share select thoughts that
went through my head during this fast. Thanks for reading and see you
you for the next 10 day fast in a few months!
Tasha
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