It’s been a while since my last blog! I’ve
been crazy busy between grad school and building my business. I do
however, want to take the time to talk about an experience that I had
this weekend that really moved and encouraged me. Now in writing about
this, I’ll admit, I’m a bit timid. This concerns a desire of my heart
that I have to admit out loud to the public, I have no idea who will see
this. I hope my ability to be honest and vulnerable will minister to
someone else who is in the same place as me and encourage them. So here
goes…
Being married has ALWAYS
been a deep desire of mine, even before I came to Christ 2 3/4 years
ago. Though marriage has always been a desire of my heart, it’s not
something that I usually talk to God about, I’m not sure why. I think at
times I get so caught up in praying for other people and what I
consider to be “bigger problems”. Sometimes I think it’s selfish to pray
for myself and wanting to get married when there are people in the
world who are starving. One day last week (I can’t remember which day) I
was praying to God and praying over other people when all of a sudden I
just stopped the formality of my tone. I started to talk to God in a
less formal tone addressing Him my Friend/Dad. “God”, I told him “I don’t usually talk about men and about my desire to be married but I want to take a second and just be real with you...”.
The last relationship I was in ended when I
was 18 years old. After that, I went to college where apparently no one
wanted to be in a relationship. As a result I was in a few “situations”
since I’m not sure what to call them. I got my heart broken time and
time again because these men didn’t realize my worth. To be completely
fair, I also didn’t know my worth at the time, and it’s important for me
to take responsibility of the part that I played. Since I have been
saved, I have not been pursued by a saved man NOR have I seen any man that I would like to be pursued by, that was saved.
[PAUSE]
Now I’d like to clarify what I mean by
“saved”. The mere fact that one believes in Christ automatically makes
them a Christian; there are a lot of Christians in the world. There is,
however, a difference between simply believing in Christ and walking
with Christ. I believed in Christ all my life but for 23 years I did not
walk with Him, and it showed in the type of life I lived. I walked with
the world.
[RESUME]
I told God that I’m not sure if that type of
man is out there for me. Yes, there are men who say they love God and
are Christians but those same men are the ones I see having premarital
sex, swear when they talk and are regulars at the club etc. Now if
that’s the life that a man wants to live, that’s their choice, no
judgment coming from me. However, I personally am not about that life
and I don’t want the man I date and possibly eventually marry, to be
about that life either. I couldn’t imagine there being a man who was
willing to wait to have sex with or even kiss me until our wedding day,
or a man that was passionate and serious about their walk in
Christ…especially in Boston! As a result (as I told God), I’m scared.
Scared that though I have this deep desire, I won’t be found by that man
and I will never be married. So I asked God to “prove the doubter (i.e.
me) wrong”. I needed Him to restore my faith.
I follow this woman of God, Heather Lindsey, who has birthed a movement called Pinky Promise,
which promotes purity until marriage for single women and purity in
marriage for married women. Until this past week, the only way she got
in touch with us was through blogs (you can read them here: www. heatherllindsey.blogspot.com/ that she writes or emails that she sends out if you sign up to receive them (please visit http://www.pinkypromisemovement.com/
to get emails from her). Last week she launched a daily inspiration
text message that you can get to your phone if you sign up. That same
evening was the first evening that Heather sent out her mass
inspirational text and it read as follows: “God has not forgotten
about you. He hears your cries and sees your desire to please Him. Guard
your heart against doubt and unbelief and trust Him”. After reading that I was like “whoa”. That text spoke DIRECTLY
to the issue I was talking to God about that very morning. It’s amazing
how God uses people to speak the Word of encouragement that you need
when you simply ASK Him.
Literally the next day a friend of mines
asked me if I would go to a wedding with her that was happening within 3
days. Apart from the slight freak out moment where I didn’t know how I
was going to pull an outfit together in such a short period of time and I
didn’t know the people getting married, I decided that I would tag
along and keep her company. The wedding was what moved me so deeply. It
was a young couple around my age (25) getting married and they were both
saved and seriously walking with Christ (I was also excited because
they were Jamaican #HELLO). The ceremony itself was SO
beautiful; it was clear that this ceremony was about worshiping and
giving glory to God for these two people to find one another and the
covenant of marriage.
At the end, right before the pastor was going
to announce the new bride and groom, she revealed to us that they both
committed to walking in purity until marriage and that they had not
slept with each other or even kissed before their wedding day. As a
result, they wanted their first kiss to be seen by God. We were all
asked to close our eyes as they kissed for the first time. It was so
hard! They did, however, kiss a second time so that we could see. It was
so beautiful! This hit me so deeply to see something like this in “real
life” if you get what I mean.
I told God a few days prior that I couldn’t
“see” a man like this and so God created an opportunity for me to see a
prototype, that they’re out there. He SHOWED me because I ASKED
Him. Praise God! To be completely honest, I’ve been going back and
forth between the decision of whether or not I would allow a guy to kiss
me while we dated. I was beginning to believe the hype that I’m being
too extreme. This couple, waited THREE YEARS to kiss each other. It’s
doable. That moment when the pastor reveals that my husband will kiss me
for the first time, I want it. So I will sacrifice to get it. And the
man that will stand with me in agreement to not kiss me or try to sleep
with me until he has EARNED me through marriage…what a man! What character! That’s who I want for myself and that’s what we women should want for ourselves. You are a PRINCESS… a daughter of the KING. You deserve it.
Disclaimer: I am not a single unhappy woman,
lol. I am actually very content with my life and the people in it. I
have so many great things going for me at the moment and it’s awesome.
I’m just being honest about the fact that there is still something that I
want, that I don’t have yet. It’s okay to admit that and it’s okay to
talk about it.
A few take aways:
1. I want to encourage all
you women that are walking with Christ or want to walk with Christ: keep
walking the walk, stay strong! God will bless you with a man of God who
is serious about Him and will love you the way Christ loves the church.
You will know His relationship with Christ by His FRUIT and ACTIONS. You will be his FAVOR and will be so BLESSED!
2. I also want to encourage
the men who are walking with God or want to walk with Him. We women of
Christ are rooting for you! Stay strong in your walk with Christ, don’t
look at what the world is doing and stay focused on Christ. As I am sure
that God is preparing you for us, we are being prepared for you. If
your boys think your wack for choosing to remain pure, you should
probably get new friends, lol. Seriously though, you need a team that
will speak LIFE into you.
3. Christ sacrificed Himself on the cross for a greater cause, so that we might LIVE and be FREE. Your willingness to walk in purity is a SACRIFICE
not only for you but for those watching you. There are other young
ladies out there who think that it’s not possible. When they see you,
they will see that it is possible. There is a generation after us that
is looking up to us for guidance. Let’s show them that it can be done!
By staying faithful, this couple ministered not only to me but to those
unsaved folk who were at the wedding. That’s all they could talk about
at the reception, they were so moved at that type of love. Trust God
with your whole heart. He will not let you down. I pray that my
relationship will minster to others the way this couple has ministered
to me.
4. God is sovereign but He
is also your Dad. It’s OK for you to talk to Him about your desires,
about your insecurities, about that guy or girl that you have a crush
on. Be REAL with Him; if anyone can take it…He can. He wants to hear about it. He wants to establish a relationship with you. He is ABSOLUTELY CRAZY ABOUT YOU and LOVES
you unconditionally. He asks us to cast our cares on Him because He
cares about us (1 Peter 5:7). I felt so good after letting that out and
no longer keeping it pent up. If you don’t have a relationship with
Christ but would like to, get with someone who knows Christ and have
them lead you in a prayer along with next steps….or contact me! I will
pray with you =).
5. While you are waiting for your husband or
looking for your wife, make sure you are working on yourself daily and
letting God work IN you so that you can be spiritually and emotionally healthy for that person. You want to be their FAVOR not an additional burden.
If you are a woman and want to commit to
walking in purity, Heather Lindsey is a great person to follow. God is
using her tremendously, I provided links to her blog and website for you
to connect with people earlier in the blog but here they are again:
If you are a woman and in the MA area, we
have a women’s group that meets monthly to talk about issues and study
the Word. Email MAPinkyPromise@gmail.com if you would like to get in on those emails and attend a meeting.
Men, her husband, Cornelius Lindsey has something for your called The Oath. You can google it or contact me for information on how to access this.
I want to end this blog by saying how grateful I am
to my friend for inviting me to that wedding, and for that couple that
decided to walk in purity. You have deeply encouraged me. Thank you
Father for showing me what I could not see, for listening and answering
my prayer.
I hope this blesses someone. Feel free to share
Xoxo
Tasha
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