Please excuse me if I sound like I’m rambling. I just wanted to share something that I wrote to God the moment that I heard the verdict regarding Trayvon Martin. This is just me…unedited and blah.
Sometimes I don’t understand why things happen the way that they do, but I choose to trust in you God. All knowing and all powerful. As I sit here, writing, hurting as an Caribbean American young woman who will one day bare children….I hurt. I pray for the family of Travyvon Martin in regards to the recent verdict concerning his killer, a man that will now walk free. I pray that You will give them peace that passes all understanding. I can’t imagine what it feels like to lose a child, get through that, and have to relive that again through a court proceeding. I pray that this family, despite the circumstances, will have hope and trust in You. When they are weak, let them know that you are strong and that they can lean on you. When they are sad, let them know that joy comes in the morning and they will smile again. When they are lonely, let them know that You will never leave or forsake them…You are always with them.
I pray for those of us with brown skin. At the end of the day, we have communities of people who are hurt, who feel let down, who feel like they are not welcome, wanted or respected in this country. Not to mention that we no longer feel protected in this country. Have we ever been? What now do we tell our children that are growing up? How do we explain the logic behind what has happened? How do we protect our children? My people feel like they are not valued and that their lives mean less to the government than that of an animal. We are YOUR children Lord. Let us not cleave to what other humans may that think of us but speak only what you say about us. We are fearfully and wonderfully made. We are loved. We are above and not beneath. Lenders and not borrowers. We are blessed. Our hearts will be healed. Heal our hurting hearts. As we reflect on how much we hurt, I imagine this is nothing in comparison to what you felt when Your own people turned their backs on You and crucified You. I can’t imagine how it feels to love us humans so much as we turn our backs on you time and time again when we choose to walk away from you. Help us to forgive. Help me to forgive. Let us not harbor hatred in our hearts.
Teach us to love the way you do even when it’s hard. Teach us how to stand up and peacefully make a difference. There are so many things that we can be doing to help our communities and raising our children. Most of us (including myself) are ignorant to the ways that we can affect change….we just don’t know. Let this anger turn into something positive, let’s learn and finally unite. Stop killing each other. Stop trying to hinder each others success. Let’s start to lift each other up and give back to our communities. This is not a time for us to be divided from others in this country. Let us know that we are not hated by everyone and love those that love us. Most importantly, teach us how to love those that hate us.
Right now, with closed eyes and deep breaths, I choose to trust You. What’s coming is better.
Sincerely,
Your daughter
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