It was the end of May 2010. I had just graduated from college and had the most amazing farewell from Northeastern University (my alma mater). From Six Flags, to Mohegan, booze cruise to countless parties at clubs. I had a BLAST. And then it all seemed to end abruptly. We were moving out of our college dorms and back to our homes. I watched as my friends moved back to Malden, New Jersey, New York, Maryland etc. It was over…college was over.
I remember walking into a graduate admissions office a few weeks later to inquire about a Psychology program. Maybe I’d go to grad school at Northeastern, get an internship and go to school for free. This lady in the office started asking me about specifics of what I wanted to do and I couldn’t answer her…I didn’t know. At the graduate level everything is so specific that you can’t not know. I left that office in tears as I called my mom on the phone. Here I was a college grad, still working at her part time job, living at home, not knowing what I wanted to do and not having a plan. For those of you who know me personally, I function better when I have a plan, I feel secure that way. If my plan doesn’t go they way that I wanted it to go, I have a contingency back up plan. Yup, that’s me. Meanwhile I had friends all around me who were landing full time jobs (many very well paid), planning on getting their own apartments, going to grad school. I felt like everyone was excelling and I was stuck at a stand still. And OF COURSE you have the adults around you asking you “what are your plans now?” I DON’T KNOW! LEAVE ME ALONE!
What I didn’t know back then was that God had (and always has) a plan for me and my life. When I graduated college, I didn’t have a personal relationship with Him and was an emotional wreck from things that had happened in prior months. Not to mention that I was going to be even more of a wreck in the next coming weeks upon finding out about the deaths of my 3 childhood friends. There were a couple things that He needed to clear up in my life before elevating me to a professional career.
I’m so thankful that He did. That summer I hit a new low and found myself on my knees at the altar giving my life back to Him. Best decision that I made yet. He began to renew me, rebuild me and fix the shattered pieces of my heart. Six months after turning my life around and getting baptized, I received my first full time job offer. This offer was from a well known university in which I would be able to go to school for free (if I got accepted into a masters program). Seven months after getting hired, I got approval to take classes as a non degree student into the program that I became interested in. Six months later after submitting an application, I was accepted into that masters program. Finally 13 months later (2 weeks ago) I successfully completed that program and will receive a masters degree.
Looking back, I think of myself as silly, breaking down on the street like that because I didn’t now what I was going to do when all the rest of my friends seemed to have a plan on what they were going to do. God needed to do some work in me and teach me to trust Him and not my pre made plans. He taught me how to take one step at a time, focus on Him and things will fall into place they way that they are supposed to.
For all you recent graduates out there…congratulations! We did it! I want my story to be encouraging to you. Don’t feel like you have to know everything right now. It’s okay not to know. Trust in God. Follow God. Listen to God. Let Him lead you. Just put one foot in front of the other, take it day by day and keep walking with Him. When you are faithful He will start to open doors you never thought could be opened. Opportunities will come your way. You will have God’s favor, and favor aint fair. Don’t be overwhelmed by those that ask you what is next. Learn to be okay with not knowing, because God’s got you.
Now that I will graduate from my masters program, I’m (in a way) at the same place like I was when I graduated from my undergraduate degree. People are asking me “what’s next?”. Honestly…I don’t know. The difference now, however, is that I know God and I trust Him and His plan for me. So I will not freak out, I will not be anxious. I’m going to enjoy life, relax, enjoy my job that He has blessed me with and be at peace with the fact that “God’s got this”.
xoxo
Tasha
No comments:
Post a Comment